so last night?
I agreed to get high on (pot) with my friend for the first time.
Everything went fine, but i didnt really get high.
Just so you know, i'm not like a druggie loser, that was the first time i had ever tried drugs.
Anyways, so yeah i didnt really get high, whats up with that?
I smoked like, 3 bowls? and all that seemed to happen was i was hungry.
but i was just wondering, did you get high your first time?
sorry i know this has nothing to do with ed.
advice is GREATLY appriciated.
no negative comments, pleeease

Well, yesterday turned out well. I ran, and have about 180 calories. Today, i have had a lot more, but also ran a lot more. Not to say i dont feel guilty...
I would really like to see some pictures of you guys..just to see how everyones doing. I will post some of me if i get any feedback...but i never do which is ridiculous...

Does any one reilize that Christmas is like 5 days away?
I'm so buried in finals and crap i havent even reilized it.

a weird calorie count for today...

1 chewy bar 100
a couple sips of some weird smoothie,
some (as in about 1/10nth of the cup) coffee

I'm stressed, I'm tired, I'm really ready to just get in my moms van with my permit, and drive somewhere, a month long journey with no food. To see the beautiful mountains, or...something like that.

I think i have anxiety

Dear Ana,

I don't want to be one of those people, who count calories, or who obsess about such insignificant things like weight. I dont want to dwell on what the scale says. To most people, 109 pounds is probably pretty normal, so why do i feel so inperfect?
I just want to live a normal life, why cant you leave me alone?

am invisible.
to my school, to my family, to this site, to everyone

I actually felt...skinny.
Weird huh?
Somebody asked me if i was even a hundred pounds and it made me feel awesome.
how was your day?

I'll be packing for Colorado.
Two weeks from now i will be done with school
Two weeks from now i will be more fit
Two weeks from now I will be skinnier
Two weeks from now lessons will be over
Two weeks from now Christmas will almost be here
Two weeks from now i'll be gathering snowboard gear.

Wanna hear a fantasy of mine?
Sleeping from now till two weeks from now, waking up 15 pounds lighter with toned abs, and then going to go get my bellybutton pierced. lol...the last part is a huge fantasy.

Today was tough.
At 5 o clock in the morning my heart was beating out of my chest and i felt like i was going to throw up. Since i fasted yesterday, i was worried about the throwing up part.  Unfortunatly i had to stop my fast. But i'm really worried because thats never happened to me before. I also felt really dehidrated so i think that part of the peoblem was not enough water. Anyways long story short i stayed home from school and had some rice krispies. Now i feel like a failure and i still kinda feel like crap.

On the brighter side I lost 2 pounds in one day and am down to 108 already.

Has anyone ever experiened this?
I also felt dizzy and weak but thats not unusual

is monday.
A fresh start.
Last night i stayed up for hours figuring and planning so that i could be 95 pounds or less by christmas.
I forgot to weigh myself this morning but a couple of days ago i was 110. That's 15 pounds in three weeks. That's 5 pounds a week. I'm fasting for a good 3 days...Today is day number 1. I've heard that after 3 days it gets really easy..is this true??

I have a busy and stressful week and i hope i will live through it to see friday.
I hope your all doing well.

p.s responses would be awesome

I'm fasting.
I'm fasting tomorrow and the next day. and the nest and the nest and the next.

You know, it's funny really.
I spend so much time wishing i was a certain way and I know I'll never get there.
I spend time wishing my stomach was flat so that i could pierce my belly button and look amazing.
But it's not going to happen.

I'm 110 pounds.
I'm 10 pounds from my first goal.
I'm 15 from my second.
Why can't i get there

I hate how i am.
I hate my obsessing.
I hate worrying about how i look.
I hate being in my head
I hate my one track mind
and i hate how momatter how much i think and worry i will never get there

And why havent i gotton one response to any of my postings for liek the past month?
I mind as wel be writing in my diary.
whatever

life sucks and then you die.

the only gift i want for myself is to be skinny.

and when i am...i'm going to get my belly button pierced

bamm..

I want to be the one they talk about.


Today one of my chubbier friends said that she wished she was skinnier, and that when she was about to eat something unhealthy, she would think of me.
It feels good to be some one's (th)inspiration.

mmm
thanksgiving sucks by the way

cw: 110 (cringe)
hw: atleast 115
lw:99
gw1:105
gw2: 100
gw3: 95

height: 5;4"

What i really want at this point in my life
1.To be skinny
-to look awesome in my new pj's
-to go to a spa with my mom and have her complement me in a bathing suit
-so i can see my hipbones
-for australlia when i go

2. To fast from now until turkey day
3. To be able to play Tchaikovsky's violin concerto
4. A boyfriend
5. Better grades
6. My footie pj's to come
7. To not go to school
8. When i try pot for the first time next weekend, for everything to go well and nobody to find out
9. to weigh 95 pounds
10. Did i mention to be skinny?

So yup...i'm a gonna fast for three days now. hoodia, water, juice on the 3rd day.
gum, fuse, diet coke.

This i called the oh-shit-i-need-to-get-skiny-quick...plan.

It's actually pretty simple.
I'm allowed to eat fruit, veggies, water, lean meats, and that's it. No soda, no sugar, no sweets, no carbs.

I need to be skinny by the week of thanksgiving because i'm seeing my really skinny friend and i want to look good.

Anyone want to join?
It'll be from now until th end of November

back.

I want to dissapear from the world. I want to wither away

Hoodia is weird. I'm not used to never feeling hungry.
It's weird.
i like it =)

this is what it looks like.
did i do ok? will this work?

MEGA HOODIA.
i feel like a drug smuggler.

Any one every tried it?
Is it ok?
Did it work?

Yay!
I just reilized that I'm getting about 50 bucks (or more) tomorrow!
enough to by my friend a birthday present..and...DIET PILLS

So questions...
what is cheapest and most effective?
please please please X100 get back to me! really need help. I'm new to the diet pills thing. Never tried them before.

i hope everyones doing well.
Your all beautiful